Dissonant Dad has some "splanin' to do"

These are some postings from one of my other blogs that deal with parenting issues, I have made note of the blogger's gender because to point of this entry is how one group, dad's in this case, but it could be any group whites, bourgeoisie, etc. can say things and in turn belie beliefs held, that are never questioned unless they are exposed to people outside of their group, gender, race, etc. Basically you need all kinds of friends, not just people who share all of your beliefs and characteristics, to keep your ass in check:


DISSONANT DAD:
... Come on my niece just derailed her career in Pharmaceutical Development to go on welfare and have some ghetto jail-bird's illegitimate kid, (Names of two expats on my other blog) we need your tax dollars yo! Sadly the previous sentence is true, I'm glad I had boys, I worry enough as it is I can't imagine how much the dad's of girls stress. I guess Mom's stress about boys playing contact sports and getting in fights and getting shot and shit, so it probably goes both ways and has to do with familiarity with what you did as a boy/young man and girl/young women.

Female Philly Friend:
... as a responsible father, do you not worry about your sons getting some girl pregnant? I always feel like a lot of people make the statement that they are happy they have boys because they don't have to worry about pregnancy issues and that it perpetuates the mindset that girls are trouble because of their reproductive capabilities. Meanwhile boys get a big pass since they don't have to wear their "sins" like a big old scarlet letter basketball stuffed under their shirts for nine months. I really think this type of thinking has to change so that more men take more responsibility for their reproductive capabilities.

DD:
... to be honest I probably won't worry about my boys irresponsibly knocking any one up until I am conscious of them being sexually active, which is hopefully 10 to 15 years away, whereas having a daughter I think I would irrationally worry about it happening in the future, part of that is because they get left with the baby, part is it's hard for the opposite sex parent to deal with the idea of their child having sex, and part my assuming that I'll do a good job teaching my boys to respect women and themselves and to be responsible.
I know what assuming leads to, so I'll have to remember to closely follow the birds and bees talk with the condoms, pregnancy and disease talk. I was a late bloomer so far as girls and was pretty shy and idealistic about falling in love and not sleeping around*, so I'll have to keep in mind that my boys won't necessarily develop at the same slow rate and in the same way and I did. (*Until I fell in love and got dumped and quickly changed my views.)
I think I and maybe most parents dangerously assume that your kids will automatically do better than you did as if they can build off of your experiences and learn from your mistakes.

Part 2 of my response to Philly Friend,
A very high percentage of important people in my life have been raped or molested, including males, so I'm highly sensitive to that being a parent, with boys if you get them to 18 and keep them out of jail, the likelihood of them being sexually assaulted is extremely slim, but with women it's a life long concern, so my statement about being glad I had boys also has to do with my perception that the constant concern and worry of being a parent lessens faster with boys than girls, now I could be totally wrong, and I know Jules worries about the boys playing contact sports and getting into fights and hanging around the wrong crowd, all things that I had done and was able to see myself through unscathed but those are areas that she's unfamiliar with, where I'm unfamiliar with this cool person I recently met attempting to rape me the first time we are alone together, or my mate being the person that is most likely to kill me, so I guess it's fear of the unknown.
I'll be more mindful of using phrases that are often used to express sexist thought and think on what it says about my thinking.
I have to admit I'm very biased when it comes to kids entertainment, things have gotten better than when we were kids with Barbie and Strawberry Shortcake, but I'll take superheroes over Bratz any day.


FPF:
... thanks for your thoughtful response to my post. I know you to be a conscientious person and was wondering what your thought process would be as a father who is responsible for his kids' daily needs. My parents divorced when I was really little and I grew up with my dad taking care of me so I know a lot about the fears that fathers have when it comes to their daughters. Also, my father had pretty much just gotten back from Vietnam so he was constantly living with fear and post-traumatic stress. So, yeah, I'm extremely guarded and I don't get fucked with, ever. I just wish it didn't have to be that way and that society would commit as much time to educating males about responsible behavior, as well as taking responsibility for their misbehavior (i.e. "You, son, are going to get stuck with the baby too or go to jail for hurting a woman."), as it does to instilling fear in general, and women in particular, about misbehavior in men and its repercussions. As it stands now the overall societal message is that guys are a threat to women therefore women are troublesome, so it's better not to have to care about too many women; I know that biology dictates that men are stronger than women and women gestate but that message is detrimental to society as a whole and commensurate with an extremely cro-magnon thought process.
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I forgot to say that I don't know anything about Bratz but I know that Barbie is the devil's spawn, superheroes rule, and Yoda is the undisputed shit .


NYC Male Friend:
LOL, Bratz are definitely freaky. They're pretty unwholesome and unrealistic representations of women. They have big heads and lips and obscenely skinny long bodies and are dressed in a way that most wouldn't want their daughter under 13 yrs. old to dress like. My God daughter was into them when she was about 7 or 8 and I remember thinking how horrible they were and how scary it was that she was drawn to and influenced by them.

LONDON Male Friend:
ok, since the blog has moved on to kids - i've got one of each ... not really worrying (yet), a summary of both:

my son (5yr old) is into flowers, formula1, soccer, bmx, tennis, some rugby and piano - typical daredevil
my daughter (8yr old) is into animals (especially horses), books, elvis, violin, guitar (she's begging for an electric) and some classical/opera (recently took her to the magic flute)
...and they both complain whenever i suggest an afternoon walk on the hills

i try to ignore the fads (we've had barbie in the house - personally like Bratz even less - all that can be summed up by one word ... 'tat' and steer the kids' attention to stuff which can be more productive/creative/rewarding - fads come into the house every now and then ... but, lucky to say, don't really stick around for long ...