Lamest Trick or Treater Ever

Even though my town tried to cancel Halloween, or actually postpone it until Friday, the kids were out in force dodging downed power lines and hurdling 50 year-old 10 foot tree limbs with aplomb. Anyway adding to my anecdotal evidence for my on going study into the loss of social graces of those under 25 was the worlds lamest trick or treater that I encounter a few days ago.

Neither the 70% of children who did not bother to say "trick or treat" nor the 40% who did not say thank you after receiving candy and worse than my 16 year-old cohorts and I who went trick or treating sans costumes and when questioned about it one of the group replied, "We're dressed as professional kick ball players, now give us some candy," not fully realizing how scary a gang of teen aged boys could be to a lone adult, but the lamest trick or treater darkened my door last night, not really wearing a costume, accompanied by three friends, all about 17 years-old, with a pillow case in one hand, his cell phone in the other, in mid conversation, tucked the phone under his chin to continue the conversation so he could free up his other hand to open the pillow case wide enough for my candy, does not acknowledge that I exist, turns away while without saying thank you while continuing to talk on the phone.

Four seconds later as I am giving candy to his friends I began to think that I just missed a "You god damn kids get off my lawn-esque" crabby old guy opportunity, I should called him out on his rudeness and made the kid get off the phone if he wanted my butterfingers and kit kats, the punk assed bitch. Sometimes you are so surprised that the witty comeback or opportunity to stand up for yourself or for decency and decorum slips through your fingers, and to try retrieve it only makes your reveal yourself as being unstable.

OCCUPY WALL STREET & Policy blog postings

Protesters Against Wall Street

NY Times Editorial

Listen to the 99 percent: What Occupy Wall Street is saying to the nation

States Adding Drug Test as Hurdle for Welfare

It is interesting, these are all issues I was blogging about in the Spring for my Policy class. I've posted some my article reviews/comments of below:

Of The 1%, By The 1%, For The 1%

by Joseph F. Stiglitz, Vanity Fair

The issue raised in this article is how “the upper 1 percent of Americans are now taking in nearly a quarter of the nation’s income every year. In terms of wealth rather than income, the top 1 percent control 40 percent.” 25 years ago those figures were 12 percent and 33 percent. The author points out that “the more unequal a society is, the more reluctant the wealthy become to spend on common needs. The rich don’t need government benefits - they can buy these things for themselves.”

This situation can perpetuate itself leading to more and more disparity in the future. We need only need to look to what is happening in Arab world right now to see what can happen when “a fraction of the population controls the lion’s share of the wealth.” With this in mind our nation needs to ask itself if this is the direction it really wants to go in?

The last main point of the article is that Alexis de Tocqueville noticed long ago that Americans had “self-interest properly understood” in that they understood that paying attention to everyone’s self-interest or the common welfare, is beneficial to their own well-being.

Basically when the nation is better and more secure, it is better for the top 1%, more stable markets etc.

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NO ONE REALLY WANTS SMALLER GOVERNMENT, COMMENTS ON PAUL RYAN’S BUDGET

Reading “The Radical Gradulism of Paul Ryan,” http://budget.house.gov/News/DocumentSingle.aspx?DocumentID=235261 about the budget proposed by the House Budget Chairman just reiterated to me those on the right always seem to stay on message no matter what the current political or economic environment. They will alway have a drive for lower taxes, no regulations on business and smaller governments and see every national success or failure as an example of why we need, you guessed it, lower taxes, a laissez-faire view of the business sector and smaller government. Never mind that the government and deficit both grew under their watch during W. Bush’s two terms.

The truth is that people on both sides of the aisle want the government to come down strongly behind the issues that they feel are most important.

“What the Ryan budget offers instead is a gradual, manageable change of course that might allow us to continue to experience the kind of growth and stability we have seen since the Second World War.” Strange does columnist Yuval Levin mean the growth and stability that were made possible by a large middle class, a strong safety net, strong unions, government regulations of the corporate sector that characterize the post war era?

“A plan that sought to address our fiscal problems by raising taxes far higher than this historical norm—as Ryan’s detractors on the left would have to do, though they are loath to say so—would almost certainly yield weaker growth, and therefore have a harder time restraining the growth of the debt.” As I discussed in my last post from a few weeks ago, statistics show that we currently have a historically low tax rate, so it could be raised and still not be “far higher than this historical norm.”

I may have missed it, but in this article and in what I have heard from the right the military budget is left in tact. Another area that the right never looks into cutting is the cost of enforcing morally driven laws against consensual activities, the cost of police enforcement of prostitution laws, tax revenue lost from the illegality of gambling and the cost of imprisoning non-violent drug users. A closer look at the war on drugs reveals that after 40 years and $1 trillion was deemed as failing to meet any of its goals. Think about how much one trillion dollars is, “If you started a business when Christ was born and lost $1 million a day, it would still take another 700 years before you lost $1 trillion,” REPRESENTATIVE PHIL CRANE.

Beside Rand Paul, his dad, and at best one million actual libertarians, no one is actually for less government, they are just for government doing less to help issues they don’t care about, and more for their issues, on the right, moral and law and order issues, strong military that stimulates the economy and helps America have an empire that keeps foreign markets safe for our business interests, or helps open new ones, as opposed to the left wanting the government to focus on trying solve societies ills and inequalities.

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I was not able to find one specific issue that moved me but looking at a number of issues I noticed a real disconnect concerning the amount of money our nation spends on its military, the high rate of profits our corporations have continued to earn despite the recession and the lack of money we have to fund our public programs and jobs that are leading to the need for so many cutbacks and lay-offs.

In last Sunday’s Star Ledger I read articles with headlines like, “Next fight: Contracts for state workers. Talks expected to be ‘pretty ugly’” where state employees are afraid to anger Gov. Christie because they don’t want to vilified in the way he did to teachers. Also “Energy Department staff to face cuts ...” “Budget ax poised in Millburn district” schools, and “Laid off Newark cops are moving on.”

Yet one can still find headlines like “Pentagon requests its largest budget: $553 billion” where the Pentagon is asking for its 14th year in a row of spending increases even with the winding down of the Iraq War. We do not have money for teachers and cops and blame welfare queens, pensions and the stimulus package for our national debt but some how the cost of our two wars at over $1,153,594,999,999 at 11:15 AM today and counting (1) is not brought into the conversation? So it seems there is plenty of money for war.

Looking at the corporate world over the last year most aggregate economic indicators are up, the GNP (2) has gone up the last five quarters, the top three stock exchanges NASDAQ, NYSE, AMEX all show growth in their trading volumes over the last 52 weeks (3). The financial papers are littered with headlines such as:

“U.S. Corporate Profits Surge” - The Wall Street Journal (4)

“Corporate Profits Were the Highest on Record Last Quarter” - The New York Times (5)

“U.S. corporate profits rise most in 25 years “- MarketWatch (6)

Still many want to cut federal and state employees like social workers, teachers and police, stating that this will free up funds to help our economy grow. Like all other areas of human endeavor public jobs contracts are far from perfect and there is much room for improving on abuses like “double dipping” holding two state jobs and getting pensions from both, large buyout clauses in some higher level state administrators and board members, and other areas like pensions and tenure can be looked at with new eyes and made more responsive to success in the work place.

The facts that these conflicting headlines bring to light point not to a lack of finances in America but a lack of interest in helping those in need and a choice to use hard economic times for many Americans as an excuse to push forth an anti-middle and working class political agenda that has been in the works since the 1960’s.

LINKS

(1) Cost of War http://costofwar.com/en/

(2) GNP http://www.data360.org/dsg.aspx?Data_Set_Group_Id=231&page=3&count=100

(3) NASDAQ, NYSE, AMEX trading volumes over the last 52 weeks http://research.scottrade.com/qnr/Public/Markets/Statistics

(4) “U.S. Corporate Profits Surge” - The Wall Street Journal http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703956604576110612955564394.html

(5) “Corporate Profits Were the Highest on Record Last Quarter” - The New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2010/11/24/business/economy/24econ.html?_r=1

(6) “U.S. corporate profits rise most in 25 years “- MarketWatch http://www.marketwatch.com/story/us-corporate-profits-rise-most-in-25-years-2010-03-26

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Many conservatives and libertarians only value private sector jobs as if they are superior to public sector jobs, as if the morgages and rents, goods and services and college educations they pay for do not help strenghen our ecomony as private sector job It is as if they believe only jobs that increase their profit margins are valid, and those that serve the interest of the middle class and in turn the nation as a whole are without value. During a recession where affluent Americans profits are rising, middle class job killing legislation and budgets cuts do not appear to be the best way help those actually feeling the pains of this recession to lift themselves up to a better future.

Especially jobs that help lay the foundation for a strong middle class, jobs in education and public safety. A strong, financially secure and educated middle class is imperative to having a functioning democracy, and many of these current conservative and libertarian ideas such busting unions and ending free public education (“Education, like any other service, is best provided by the free market” ) run completely counter to what has made America the strongest nation in world.

Picture a senario where you already have high unemployment and very few good jobs where you do not need a college education. Then cut police jobs and make our cities less secure, you cut jobs in education which makes it harder to educate our children and in turn harder for them to go to college and get good jobs. Now not only have good middle class jobs that are within the grasp of poor and working class people been eliminated, you add a percentage of those formerly middle class laid-off people the ranks of the needy.

The short term gains from many of these cuts will be drastically over shadowed by the harm they are doing to society’s ability to produce citizens with highly employable skills. Those on the right look to the corporate world where one can raise their profit margins by laying off employees and see no reason not to apply the same logic to essential public jobs all so they can have more money by lowering their taxes.

National debt more than tripled from 900 billion dollars to 2.8 trillion dollars during Reagan's tenure.

There is not less money in America, their is less money available to the middle class.

http://www.lp.org/platform

Eisenhower

"Now this conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence -- economic, political, even spiritual -- is felt in every city, every Statehouse, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet, we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources, and livelihood are all involved. So is the very structure of our society.

In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist. We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together."

There is a jelousy on the part of many who work in the private sector, they see their jobs being cut, they see pensions as a thing of the distant past which they came along too late for, and they have not gotten rich in the corporate world and see public workers making as much as they do with more benefits and they have been told that they are lazy union workers who do not deserve to be well compensated.

So rather than unionize fight for the jobs in their own industry, or complaining about paying 1.99 for a bottle of coke when it costs 18 cents to make

(http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_much_does_it_cost_to_make_a_bottle_of_coca_cola) and being angry about the exorbitant bonuses that corporate executives are paid with your money, being angry that they make their profits of the back of that usury usurious mark up,

many in the public are so brainwashed that they hate those in the same boat as they are and worship those above them, those who control how society is set up and do infinitely more to keep them in their troubled possition than those next to them, one step ahead or behind them in the pecking order of financial success in this nation.

People would rather have a dream of becoming rich than a reality of being secure.

Veblen pointed out. The poor don't want to fight those above them, they want to be like them. http://www.bolenderinitiatives.com/sociology/thorstein-bunde-veblen-1857-1929/thorstein-bunde-veblen-leisure-class-author/critic-may-ha

I have started my first official year in a MSW program this week. I have been pissed off about my profs emailing reading assignments that are due at my first class, completely inappropriate, the class starts on a certain day, that's when the work should start, it's like having to check your blackberry every few hours on your vacation, technology has eradicated all boundaries, when you are affiliated with an institution it's like no time is solely yours anymore.

Nagged

My kids are out of summer camp and it has taken three days and bout of asthma reinforced by hysteria to derail the best laid schedule of Daddy Camp!

I have to catch up on some chores, but some how telling my 9 yr old to read to pass the time is like telling him to pull his nails out with pair of pliers. "Why isn't anyone home when we call for a playdate," and after we leave a message, every time the phone rings, "Who's that, who's that?!?"

How old are kids when they become in charge of their own social calendar?

I guess the plus of not being nagged for things to do by your kids is negated by the fact that parents are usually no longer considered when planning their tweenaged agendas.

One of the ancillary annoyances of having depression

One of the ancillary annoyances of having depression issues is the realization that the things bothering you are often not as serious as those giving difficultly to others around you and yet they feel as if they are.

As I was driving to my therapist yesterday I was in a pissy mood and then saw a young blind man being taught how to use his cane as he crossed the busy street I was driving on; a few minutes ago I was thinking about talking about my general malaise with a friend I am having dinner with tomorrow night and quickly remembered that his wife is leaving him but they don't have the money to support two separate households so they are still living together, which makes me say to myself, "What the fuck are you having trouble dealing with? Your kids wanting to play video games everyday and not cleaning up behind themselves, your wife being to tired after work to hang out, really? And your therapist, chiropractor, physical therapist and massage therapy aren't enough to help you deal with the stress of life. Be satisfied with the privileged life you enjoy and somehow convince yourself that it is enough, because it is more than most people on earth have experienced."

I have to stop letting my kids bait me into arguments, my six year-old after being given a stern talking to about all of the things he could be doing to stave off boredom was having a temper tantrum because he did not want to clean up and he wanted me to play with him, I told him that I had cleaning up of my own to do and sometimes we have to do boring things in life, part of my job was to do boring things like clean up the house.

As I climbed the stairs I heard him asking why did I chose that job if it was boring and I did not like it. Normally I would get in his face about being disrespectful, but I just kept walking. Something I am going to try to do more of after making whatever my original point is.

Fever

My 6 year-old son has had a fever since Monday, he is missing the kindergarden presentation, and the kids have off from school next week, and I have my final term paper due on my birthday in less than weeks, but have not had any time to work on it this week because I have continuously believed that my son's fever would be gone tomorrow and hence spent my time tending to things around the house because once I start on writing the paper I won't have much free time, three days in a row and they are home next week, wait, I did just sign them up for spring break soccer camp, thank god, that at least gives me about three hours a day, well closer to two and a half because we are always late and I have to leave our house about 15 minutes before the camp ends, so yeah we will have to go to the doctor tomorrow, hopefully this will clear up soon we have a really busy weekend like literally seven events/activities planned, and then Bloomfest on Sunday, what a drag it will be if he stays sick ...

Less Distractions On Campus

So after missing three weeks of class I has a midterm last week. I am not going to try to make up all of the reading I missed, but I have a paper and some blog entries due that I missed, plus keeping up with the current reading and and starting to research my major term paper.

Studying at home is often hard, we have had all of these house issues like possible two dead animals under our back deck that stink to high hell once the temperature sniffs 50 degrees, our heater has cut off twice and we have had to have someone come and service it to get it running again, and we had people come by to give estimates for trimming trees on our property, the guys we picked were suppose to call to give a heads up as to when they were free to come.

Well as I sit trying to figure out what the hell I am going to write my make-up paper on, and where am I going to find the research sources online, and being mad at myself for not getting any of it done earlier in the week, particularly because my kids have a half day to day and a play date at our house, so I will have less opportunity to work on the paper today than any other day this week, the tree trimmers show up. So there a bunch of Latin dudes high up in trees over my house with chainsaws and a giant truck sized wood chipper buzzing away as I type, not exactly an environment conducive to higher level conceptualizing. Also two worries have begun to creep in, one, this service was so much cheaper than the others, are they insured if one of these giant branches falls on my roof? Secondly, are we removing enough or too many branches? Too many may be safer and have less leaves to deal with in the fall, but it may look bad, and make the tree lean and force the roots to start coming up. Too few and we are still in danger of having a large branch fall on our house during a storm.

Oh and there are the squirrels who live in the tree, I am a little worried about their stress level.

Me, Petty, No?

I had two conversations over new year's eve where separate friends debated little factoids I brought up as being incorrect. Now neither one is of any ground shaking importance, one is about the history of the town we all live in, the other about a soccer tactic used in a recent match. As a residue of growing up rather shy I usually don't make statements that I am not sure of outside of speaking with my immediate family, therefore I am usually sure of my statements.

So I politely let my doubters know that I stood by my statements and that I could back them up with documentation, which still didn't convince them. So big deal right, well my issue is not with them it is with my desire to send them web links to prove that I was not speaking out of my ass. As I write this I realize my problem is that I hate when people go on about shit they know nothing about, or stand strong on points where they can easily be proved wrong, so for someone to think that about me places me in a zone of discomfort. This has to do with me not allowing myself the freedom to be wrong. I understand that I am frequently wrong across many subjects, but I apparently can not deal with others thinking I am wrong when I am not.

So my desire to email friends links proving that I was not talking out of my ass is petty, no?

Thank God ...

... my massage therapist asked me about my kids having a half day or they would have been left out in the cold and freaking out, because I was totally unaware of it, I knew tomorrow was a half day, but not about today.

SCHOOL PICTURES, THE REMIX

My kids school pictures did not come out too great. I felt like, life is not perfect and this is a representation of it, my 8 year-old is entering that awkward stage and sometimes does not look like the perfect little boy he use to, and he is growing his hair long again and it is now in an in-between stage, that's life. My little guy had a weird smile in his picture.

I had talked to the boys about their pictures how they were not perfect, but that it did not matter, and I pointed out some of the positive things about the pictures. They eventually came around and no longer

My wife was really unhappy with the pictures, so when we received an email about retakes she wanted to have them redone. I did not really care about it, but worried that it would send a mixed message to the kids because I had recently spent time getting them to be okay with the imperfect pictures.

Fast forward to this morning, picture retake day, basically the boys were neurotic basket cases worrying about their smiles for their pictures, and spent all morning trying on various smile faces, sometimes laughing at themselves and each other, sometime confused as to why this particular smile made them look more insane than happy (I never couched it this way though, I would say, that's not the best I've seen you make, less/more teeth depending on the smile).

So we wind up being late for school, I get home turn on the computer to blog this entry, then I get a phone call from school, my oldest son forgot to put the envelope with the money for the retake in his back pack. I find the envelope and adding to the confusion realized that my kindergartner had the 3rd grader's envelope, which was my fault. So I had to drive back to the school and straighten this all out. Which was actually pretty easy to do, just annoying.

Give me my time back

I have been having dealing with some serious issues dealing with my mother, her interaction with my in-laws, her thinking that she can say and do whatever she wants once she becomes upset on top of a life time of other mommy issues which I will not digress into in this forum. The point being that I have been composing a letter to my Pop (step-father) about the issues that I am upset about, since the issues my mother are focusing on are pretty far off the point.

He wrote me a letter about what's going on so I wanted to get a few thoughts down in to the letter I was already composing. So rather than packing for my family's imminent vacation, or doing the dishes, or watching that netflix movie that my wife wanted to see that she will never make time for, so I need to watch it soon and mail it back or it becomes a waste of money, or giving the kids a shower like I am suppose to on Wednesdays, I am cranking out my random thoughts on current family events and 41 years of family dysfunction while temporarily verbally ushering out the kids from the office so I can concentrate, and keeping my eight year old at a distance since he is prone to over the shoulder reading.

Then my wife calls me into the bathroom because my 8 year-old is crying because of problems he is having in creative writing at art camp. They are working on a news paper and the class is for 8 to 12 year-olds, he doesn't understand what he is suppose to do and is basically afraid to ask questions. So her goes another hour of asking 5o questions to fully understand what is going on, partially reassuring him, partially kicking his ass about not coping out, telling him it is a teachers job to explain things to you, if you knew how to do everything you would not have to go to school, the teacher knows you are eight and do not know everything, everyone gets confused, everyone makes mistakes, if you spell a word wrong Google will usually come up with the correct spelling and ask you if this is what you meant to write, etc.

I really should learn to not procrastinate, because at the later moments of preparation for doing something I am damn near guaranteed that someone member of my family will do something unfathomable, become dramatically ill or die, really piss me off, one of my kids will hurt himself, have an accident not making it to the toilet or wet the bed, or a spider will be hanging over my wife as she falls asleep and she will scream for me to run to her rescue ...

Stream of Constant-ness / Pictures of You Two

Today, well, Monday, was the first day home on Summer vacation for my 5 year-old.
The last two months he has been asking when will school be over and talking about how he is ready for school to be over.
And now that it is over, he spent the whole day talking about his friends, asking me to call his friends' parents to set up playdates.
I had forgotten that he constantly talks, non-stop, continuously, really, on and on ... I was checking emails and told him I needed to concentrate so I could finish more quickly so we could hang out, but being five he did not understand that what I said meant that he should stop talking.
So I had to ask him to stop talking for a few minutes, I did not blow up at him about it, though I know I have been short with him on this subject in the past, however I can remember how it stung being a child and my mother asking me to stop talking so she could finish paying some bills. I have never been an extremely talkative person, so she did not have to shut me up very often, but I can tell that the lack of rarity, or familiarity with being asked to "Just please stop talking for a minute," has not made it a more comfortable situation for my recent pre-school graduate.
This situation is some what of a trade off for not constantly having the TV on to distract him. I do not plan on the TV being his summer long companion so I just have to remember to be sensitive to his feeling and needs while he is not mature enough to be in tune with or situationally infer my feelings and needs.
At one point he said, "I just want to do anything with you." So I integrated him into my chores, unloading the dishwasher, sorting and putting away laundry, sorting change into piggy banks, etc. and he was into it, though not as much as being into playing of course, he did like the idea that he was earning "points" towards getting his allowance by helping me out around the house.

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For some reason on Sunday on the ride home after seeing Toy Story 3 my kids were talking about my wife and I being dead. It may have had to do with us not getting them any candy from the concessions stand, or it may have had to do with the Andy character growing up, toys being thrown away, etc. As my 8 yr-old was talking about something with us being old or dead and the Toy Story plot, my 5 yr-old said, "When you guys are gone I'm just going to look at pictures of you two all the time."
I had a hard time not crying after hearing that.

I really wish my kids did not have a rather full understanding of death at such an early age. Although it may help them to deal with the issue better through out their lives.

Sadly now I know why all children in 3rd world orphanages have shaved heads and the literal meaning of nitpicking, hasn't been a fun last 27 hours.

School Board

My 2nd grader goes to a school that has an international studies theme. The aforementioned cuts have resulted in his school loosing it's foreign language program, which only consisted of Spanish. I have heard that only one grammar school in the district, the largest, will keep it's foreign program. Now this does make some sense seeing how the highest number of students will have access to the program at this school. However, with our school's theme being international studies would not it make sense for us to have a foreign language program? My boys are worlds ahead of where I was at their age with Spanish, having started with some instruction in preschool and having it twice a week in grammar school. Back in my day we were not able to study foreign languages until high school which has left me knowing a bit of French and Spanish vocabulary but not being anywhere near fluent in either language. I mean if they had to cut science programs from all but one school wouldn't it make sense for that one school to be the Math & Sciences magnet school? It sucks too because though my son stresses out about it, he is doing really well in Spanish and is at the point where he can go up in front of the class and recite a couple of paragraphs of information in Spanish without reading off of note cards. That will be lost if he does not have Spanish at school for the next three to six years. Also he has interest in learning other languages, if he is able to continue Spanish for the next three years he can gain a pretty good grasp of the language and move onto learning another in middle school. It looks like another case where if parents can afford it they will have to dip into their own pockets and pay for private instruction if they really want their child to gain knowledge outside of the three R's, or learn a sport, or get daily exercise, or participate in the arts .... double merde!!

HONORS?

I am currently filling out a graduate school application for a MSW, and there is a field that asks for honors. The first thing that came to mind was Dean's List, maybe but probably not those lame Key Club honors, but when I saw what they listed as the examples: ABRCMS, DAAD, FAMU, Fulbright, IRT Consortium; I realised that they might not view my lame Dean's List achievements as honors.
Any advice from ya'll out there on the "interwebs"?

I am definitely fearing that to get accepted to a competitive program I will need to put in a few years of dues working at DYFS to up my Social Work street cred.

Honestly if I could get a legit MSW from Git A Degree Online In Yr Boxers University, (GADIYB U for short) I would, but my research into those Online schools came up with them lacking, and a bunch of annoying sales-ish calls from "counselors" who seemed more like once promoted telemarketeers.

Duct Tape is there nothing you can't do?

About a month ago I started noticing a scrapping sound every time I drove into or out of my driveway. After a week I looked under the car and saw that there is some kind of cover underneath the front of my car and it was coming loose.
With closer inspection I noticed that a number of screws had come out of this under-covering causing it to hang down. I kept saying to myself when the weather gets better I will try to do something about it.
The weather kept getting worse. Today I had to park illegally in a pay parking lot to drop my preschooler off at school. The lot was not shovelled out so I had to park on top of a bunch of hardened snow. It may just have dawned on you, but it did not dawn on me that backing up over said snow with this thing hanging from underneath the front of my car may be troublesome.
Well after hearing the crunch, followed by the now constant scraping sound I new cold weather or not I could no longer procrastinate on taking care of this issue.
I could not find any left over screws that fit the bill, so as it has on countless jobs before, duct tape leapt to the rescue, lets just hope it will hold up through the snow and sub-freezing temperatures.

Neurotic Sit-com

I got an invitation to open a facebook account from a mother of one of my 2nd grader's classmates a couple of weeks back, and last night I got a reminder. Since I already have an account I ignored it initially, but the message said something about kids pictures, and I know the last couple of times I have run into them I haven't been the most friendly person, so I figured it was a little weird, but she must be making some sort of facebook school parent's group so I would confirm the friend add, however I did not want to create a new account as the email was asking, so I went to my regular account and sent a friend add from it to what I guessed was her account, the name was the same but not picture.

So at my son's Halloween parade I run into her, and trying to be polite since I never directly replied to the add request I told her I got the add request but already had an account so I sent her a add request from my regular account. She looked at me and said I never sent you an add request, I was like oh, now I feel like an asshole, so I say well maybe you responded to a pop-up that was going to send invites to everyone in your address book, she was like I guess but had a what the fuck are you talking about vibe, if the roles were reversed I would have said that's weird, well don't worry about it, but in typical fashion for my life, I was trying to not make someone feel weird and I wound up feeling uncomfortable.
I started to get all Larry David feeling about it, and wondered why, then I remembered I hardly ate anything and have not gotten enough sleep for weeks, speaking of which I am beat from hanging with Dave so I am gone.

gansta lean

I recently realized that a lot of my back problems comes from the way I drive, or more to the point the way I position myself as I drive. I reach my left hand over to the other side of the steering wheel and place it at "2 o'clock," I lean my head over my right shoulder and I always hold the shifter, obviously with the right hand, even though I currently drive a manual car, I drove a stick shift for like my first 15 years of driving.
Now that the weather is getting colder my upper back keeps stiffening up, even later in the day after going to the chiropractor. A few days ago as I was driving my boys to school and fidgeting around in my seat trying to get my upper back comfortable I realized that the position the rest of my body felt comfortable in tilted my spine at the exact point of the problem, like a hinge in the center of my back.
I also wonder if I have looked ridiculous all these years driving like I am rocking some kind of gansta lean behind the wheel of my Camry?
So now I am trying to reposition myself as I drive, which relieves the pressure between my shoulder blades, but now the rest of feels totally out of sorts. I even do this on the computer, sitting slightly to the left of the keyboard and leaning my upper torso to the right to type and hold the mouse.
So this morning I stretched a little, sat on the couch with strategically placed pillows, DVR'ed a Halloween show for the kids and tried to relax the muscles in my back. after about 15 to 20 minutes I was feeling close to normal, close enough to do another round of more serious stretches. That did the trick, 90% back to normal.
About an hour later my wife called from a meeting to whisper to me that the lay-offs they have been fearing are going to happen and definitely will affect her small department.
Wow honey that sounds great, thanks for telling me.
- Well I wanted to talk to someone, you are my support (system or network or something like that)
Well, hang in there.

Ooouuuuuwuch, I can hear the muscles between my shoulder blades tightening up and the little crackle of my spine in one of the only spots I can not crack on my own without the help of one of those seat connected to the desk school desks they have in high school.

Accidents Happen, just usually not this frequently

My 4 year-old has had like 12 accidents in the last 10 days, most of them very small and on the way to the toilet, but after not having any for a really long time and then having like one a week for a month things have gotten really out of hand.
I have tried to use the tactic that I helped my older son get potty trained that I learned from a child psychiatrist, telling him that I read the manual to the PS2 and it said that only big boys can play it. And big boys listen to their parents, go to the bathroom on the potty/toilet, go to school, etc.
"... and you do all of those things except (in this current case) you have not been making it to the toilet on time and peeing a little in you undies before you get to the toilet."

I know many children have a period of adjustment once they get pretty good at controlling their bladders, they try to hold it in until they are finished playing a game or watching a show and wait way too long a bam, or pssssss to be more correct, accident time.

I know I get too mad sometimes when I ask him if he needs to go and he says no, then a minute later he's screaming he has to go and running around in circles rather than heading straight to the toilet. I am starting to be afraid that it is something physically wrong. I am going to try to be way more supportive, back-tracking and acting as if he was not fully potty trained and helping him out a lot more, running up or down stairs with him, helping unbutton his pants, keeping the potty seat on the toilet so he does not have to waste time looking around for it, making sure he goes to the bathroom before and after everything we do and everywhere we go, and rewarding him with praise and maybe a jelly bean all the things that worked to get him potty trained a year a head of his older brother, while sticking to the no PS2 / big boy's always go on the potty stance.

I will probably take him to the doctor too, even though my gut tells me it is not a physical issue and I do not want to loose the 90 minutes of my life that I will spend waiting around to be seen by the doctor that comes with making a last minute appointment. I do not want to risk continuing or exacerbating the problem because of laziness or selfishness, so if he can not make it through another day without an accident I will have to make an appointment.

My son is usually brimming with confidence and over confidence so it sucks hearing him say, "I'll never be a big boy / I hate myself / No one likes me," after having an accident. I am sure I have fucked this up a bit, it his hard to convey disappointment and compassion at the same time, that I am disappointed that he did not do what he needed to do to make it to the toilet like he has been doing for a year now, not that I am disappoint in him as person or a son. I try to let him know that I still love him and like him even if I am upset.

Getting tired, I will proofread this tomorrow.

Never Assume

This morning getting ready for school my 7 yr-old was brushing his teeth and my 4 yr-old was on the toilet, exciting right. Anyway usually this leads to a fight, because the kid using the toilet will finish and want to wash his hands, and the one brushing his teeth will not step aside for a second, or god forbid share the sink, so they then argue and jostle with each other for space at the sink, then the little one will fall of the step stool and yell Daddy he's not letting me blah blah blah.
So today we were not running late, shocking I know, I was busy doing something related to getting them off to school and the little guy was siting on the toilet I assumed he was just patiently waiting for his brother to finish at the sink and I thought great, no noise no drama.
As his brother finishes he is still sitting there, I am like,
Go ahead and wash your hands little dude.
him-I can't
Why not? Wait did you poop?
him-Yes
Did you wipe?
him-No
Why not?
him - shoulder shrug
Ah man you just didn't feel like wiping, scoot up so I can wipe you so we aren't late!

No more assuming, I will continue with the constant checking, "Did you do this, no, do this then do that ... it's been ten minutes and you didn't do that, did you do this, okay now do that, and go down stairs and do the other, from earlier, come on you have forgotten the other for three days straight ... what do you mean you forgot how to do that?"