The Problem With Facebook

I find that facebook makes me feel more lonely than connected, at best it gets me to miss old friends that I rarely think of otherwise.

How many friends from your past do you think about on a regular basis without being prompted by a networking website or old pictures?

My aunt and my cousin's tween daughter recently friended me on facebook, now it's like my Mom is watching me online, not that I post much on that site, but now I will have to monitor what I do if I do.

There is also a group from my High School called Dearly Departed that notifies me when someone dies from my school, I thought it would be just from my class, but it's like all years, so at least every week I get a message about someone who died, some of them surprisingly young, not the fun I'm looking for from facebook.

The 7 foods experts won't eat

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/health/the-7-foods-experts-wont-eat-547963/

Neurotic Sit-com #3 - I Am Just Not Going To Talk Any More

Episode 2 in the works so I'm skipping to #3.

I seem to keep putting my foot in my mouth in my attempts at small talk with the mom's I encounter taking my boys back and forth to school.
This refers back to the Pre-K Hugs posting from last week.
At my little guys pre-school a mom came up to me to tell me that her daughter and all her little friends love my boy, her daughter talks about marrying him, and I recounted how my son mentioned her daughter "Sally" and stated that sometimes other girls bother him, but she really plays with him, I was expecting a smile or some kind of positive reaction, nothing, so I repeated myself, a faint smile at best, OK, well see you around.
Fast forward a week of my smiling and saying hi to this mom, my boy and I are alone in their cubby room, I hear a mom say, "Sally, blah blah blah ...," I look up, it's not the mom I talked to the other day, not the girl I thought it was, I basically insulted this women after she recounted her nice story to me pointing out one of two shitty things, one, that's nice that your daughter likes my boy but he finds her annoying or I have no fucking idea who you and your daughter are!

Now the truth is I am just not sure of their names, and my son does like her daughter, he had mentioned a few girls that he is friends with, but I was trying to be nice by making it sound like he only mentioned her daughter.
This is one of those times where if I can't have a time machine, I wish I was a cartoon character so I could blow my face off with a cannon and snap back to normal a second later.

Forgetting that my son's little lantern light fell under the car when he got out of it for school I ran it over after telling him we did not have time to get it now and promising him that I would get it after dropping him off at school, but my mind was else where.
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Not as bad as the above but again not good, early this year my wife took our boys to her take your children to work day. My 2nd grader said I saw "Sanjay's" older brother at mommy's work.
So the next time I ran into "Sanjay's" mom outside of the grammar school I ask, does you husband work at XYZ Pharma?
her - No, he works at ABC Financials why?
me -oh my son thought he saw your older son on take your child to work day
her - what town is XYZ in?
me - "blah blah town" (a town 30 minutes away)
her - Oh yes, there are a lot of Sikhs in that area he must have seen another boy
me -oh ....

I did not cross my mind that he would have thought this other boy was one of hers because he had the same head wear that all Sikhs boys wear, I might as well said hey my boy saw your towelheaded little one the other day.
It's a case of my lack of prejudice meeting up with my lack of understanding how a little kid's mind works.

So again, I think I am just going to look at the ground and not talk to anyone any more.

Pre-K Hugs

The mother of a girl that my four year-old likes told me this morning that all the girls like him and her daughter talks about marrying him because, "He's nice and gives the best hugs."

That's pretty cute

Like Chocolate

This recent Tiger Woods incident reminded me of something I explained to my wife a while ago.

Men like women, like women like chocolate.

Wallets and Dead Ends

About a month ago I made my 2nd grader a wallet out of duct tape, I gave him a choice of colors and what character would be on the front, white and Darth Vader. A few days ago I asked my 4 year-old if he wanted me to make him a wallet as well, he said yes a black one, so I made him a black one with batman on the front.
I have made a system of color and character delineation that minimises disputes and arguments, the big guy gets anything that is blue and spider-man, the little dude gets dibs on anything red or batman.
So the next morning the preschooler is attacking his big brother and his wallet with his new wallet.
Me - what's going on?
7yrold - he's attacking me, hitting my wallet with his wallet
Me - buddy that's not what wallets are for, you don't hit stuff with them
4yrold - daddy what are wallets for?
Me - oh you don't know, sorry, you keep money in them
4yrold - okay

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As I was driving back from dropping off my 2nd grader at school my four year old was looking out the window and said
"Daddy when is the world going to end?"
Me - what? who told you that the world is going to end?
"Where is the end of the world"
Me - what exactly do you mean?
"The yellow signs say 'Dead End'"
Me - Oh, that just means the roads end there
"Why do the end"
Me - because of the park, it would not be so nice if it was all roads and cars so the end the roads on the edge of the park

He did not fully understand why the roads ended, but he was no longer concerned about the world coming to an end, one of the perils of being about to read early before you have much understanding of the world.

Neurotic Sit-com

I got an invitation to open a facebook account from a mother of one of my 2nd grader's classmates a couple of weeks back, and last night I got a reminder. Since I already have an account I ignored it initially, but the message said something about kids pictures, and I know the last couple of times I have run into them I haven't been the most friendly person, so I figured it was a little weird, but she must be making some sort of facebook school parent's group so I would confirm the friend add, however I did not want to create a new account as the email was asking, so I went to my regular account and sent a friend add from it to what I guessed was her account, the name was the same but not picture.

So at my son's Halloween parade I run into her, and trying to be polite since I never directly replied to the add request I told her I got the add request but already had an account so I sent her a add request from my regular account. She looked at me and said I never sent you an add request, I was like oh, now I feel like an asshole, so I say well maybe you responded to a pop-up that was going to send invites to everyone in your address book, she was like I guess but had a what the fuck are you talking about vibe, if the roles were reversed I would have said that's weird, well don't worry about it, but in typical fashion for my life, I was trying to not make someone feel weird and I wound up feeling uncomfortable.
I started to get all Larry David feeling about it, and wondered why, then I remembered I hardly ate anything and have not gotten enough sleep for weeks, speaking of which I am beat from hanging with Dave so I am gone.

Yesterday OK / H1N1

After implementing my new system my little guy made it through the whole day with no problems. If we can make through a week we probably will not have to go to the doctor for this issue.

speaking of doctors

I have been researching swine flu vaccines and will be getting my boys vaccinated with the nasal spray version which does not have any preservatives in it, ie no mercury.

I learned that 40% of the shots will not have thimersoal in them, so you may be able to get a mercury free shot as well.

Check the CDC web site and compare it to the conspiracy theories and then find your own truth in the middle I guess. I just know that my boys vaccinations come in individual doses, so no need for the harmful preservatives that are said to cause Autism amongst other things.

gansta lean

I recently realized that a lot of my back problems comes from the way I drive, or more to the point the way I position myself as I drive. I reach my left hand over to the other side of the steering wheel and place it at "2 o'clock," I lean my head over my right shoulder and I always hold the shifter, obviously with the right hand, even though I currently drive a manual car, I drove a stick shift for like my first 15 years of driving.
Now that the weather is getting colder my upper back keeps stiffening up, even later in the day after going to the chiropractor. A few days ago as I was driving my boys to school and fidgeting around in my seat trying to get my upper back comfortable I realized that the position the rest of my body felt comfortable in tilted my spine at the exact point of the problem, like a hinge in the center of my back.
I also wonder if I have looked ridiculous all these years driving like I am rocking some kind of gansta lean behind the wheel of my Camry?
So now I am trying to reposition myself as I drive, which relieves the pressure between my shoulder blades, but now the rest of feels totally out of sorts. I even do this on the computer, sitting slightly to the left of the keyboard and leaning my upper torso to the right to type and hold the mouse.
So this morning I stretched a little, sat on the couch with strategically placed pillows, DVR'ed a Halloween show for the kids and tried to relax the muscles in my back. after about 15 to 20 minutes I was feeling close to normal, close enough to do another round of more serious stretches. That did the trick, 90% back to normal.
About an hour later my wife called from a meeting to whisper to me that the lay-offs they have been fearing are going to happen and definitely will affect her small department.
Wow honey that sounds great, thanks for telling me.
- Well I wanted to talk to someone, you are my support (system or network or something like that)
Well, hang in there.

Ooouuuuuwuch, I can hear the muscles between my shoulder blades tightening up and the little crackle of my spine in one of the only spots I can not crack on my own without the help of one of those seat connected to the desk school desks they have in high school.

Let Kids Sleep Late on Weekends to Fight Fat: Study

Accidents Happen, just usually not this frequently

My 4 year-old has had like 12 accidents in the last 10 days, most of them very small and on the way to the toilet, but after not having any for a really long time and then having like one a week for a month things have gotten really out of hand.
I have tried to use the tactic that I helped my older son get potty trained that I learned from a child psychiatrist, telling him that I read the manual to the PS2 and it said that only big boys can play it. And big boys listen to their parents, go to the bathroom on the potty/toilet, go to school, etc.
"... and you do all of those things except (in this current case) you have not been making it to the toilet on time and peeing a little in you undies before you get to the toilet."

I know many children have a period of adjustment once they get pretty good at controlling their bladders, they try to hold it in until they are finished playing a game or watching a show and wait way too long a bam, or pssssss to be more correct, accident time.

I know I get too mad sometimes when I ask him if he needs to go and he says no, then a minute later he's screaming he has to go and running around in circles rather than heading straight to the toilet. I am starting to be afraid that it is something physically wrong. I am going to try to be way more supportive, back-tracking and acting as if he was not fully potty trained and helping him out a lot more, running up or down stairs with him, helping unbutton his pants, keeping the potty seat on the toilet so he does not have to waste time looking around for it, making sure he goes to the bathroom before and after everything we do and everywhere we go, and rewarding him with praise and maybe a jelly bean all the things that worked to get him potty trained a year a head of his older brother, while sticking to the no PS2 / big boy's always go on the potty stance.

I will probably take him to the doctor too, even though my gut tells me it is not a physical issue and I do not want to loose the 90 minutes of my life that I will spend waiting around to be seen by the doctor that comes with making a last minute appointment. I do not want to risk continuing or exacerbating the problem because of laziness or selfishness, so if he can not make it through another day without an accident I will have to make an appointment.

My son is usually brimming with confidence and over confidence so it sucks hearing him say, "I'll never be a big boy / I hate myself / No one likes me," after having an accident. I am sure I have fucked this up a bit, it his hard to convey disappointment and compassion at the same time, that I am disappointed that he did not do what he needed to do to make it to the toilet like he has been doing for a year now, not that I am disappoint in him as person or a son. I try to let him know that I still love him and like him even if I am upset.

Getting tired, I will proofread this tomorrow.

Human Evolution: Are Humans Still Evolving?

I have attained the highest level of suburban parenthood, little kid soccer coach

Coached my first kids' soccer game today, my side won 5-0 and my 7 yr-old had a hat trick, so it went pretty well. They need me to fill-in coach the next two weeks, I wonder if the fact that the games are 9 & 10 AM plays any part in that?

The kids were all well behaved except for one, who tripped my son at the last practice and then was all happy about it. He grabbed the shirt of the female head coach and pulled it up, she was like, "yes" assuming that he wanted her attention, and boy did he, "You were naked," "WHAT," he does it again, "I want to see you naked, I want to see you naked!" "That is inappropriate behavior."
This kid also doesn't pay attention at all to the game and kept kicking the ball in the wrong direction.
WOW, I guess I am doing a decent job with my boys, seeing how they have yet to try to rip the clothes off of a woman. I am going to advise her to have a talk with his parents.

In a much nicer realm of not paying attention, it was windy and a bunch of leaves started to fall down on the field, one of our defenders was just looking up at the sky gleefully strolling away from the action watching the leaves fall, "HEY 'Alex' watch the ball not the leaves!"

Never Assume

This morning getting ready for school my 7 yr-old was brushing his teeth and my 4 yr-old was on the toilet, exciting right. Anyway usually this leads to a fight, because the kid using the toilet will finish and want to wash his hands, and the one brushing his teeth will not step aside for a second, or god forbid share the sink, so they then argue and jostle with each other for space at the sink, then the little one will fall of the step stool and yell Daddy he's not letting me blah blah blah.
So today we were not running late, shocking I know, I was busy doing something related to getting them off to school and the little guy was siting on the toilet I assumed he was just patiently waiting for his brother to finish at the sink and I thought great, no noise no drama.
As his brother finishes he is still sitting there, I am like,
Go ahead and wash your hands little dude.
him-I can't
Why not? Wait did you poop?
him-Yes
Did you wipe?
him-No
Why not?
him - shoulder shrug
Ah man you just didn't feel like wiping, scoot up so I can wipe you so we aren't late!

No more assuming, I will continue with the constant checking, "Did you do this, no, do this then do that ... it's been ten minutes and you didn't do that, did you do this, okay now do that, and go down stairs and do the other, from earlier, come on you have forgotten the other for three days straight ... what do you mean you forgot how to do that?"

In 30 years without spanking, are Swedish children better behaved?