Monday, May 28, 2007

fresh from the M&M slaughterhouse

My very soon to be five year-old asked my wife yesterday after seeing an M&M commercial where the candies are anthropomorphized, "Are M&M's real?" Meaning are they living beings.
He also seems to think he's a vegetarian like his Daddy, because he eats some of the veggie "meats" that I eat and has given his maternal grandmother a hard time about eating animals. She wanted to tell him that he's not a vegetarian, but I told her if she still wants him to eat meat at least until he's a teenager (when I plan to give him the option to convert over from the darkside) that she'd better leave him to his misgivings. The funny thing is that I never told him he was a vegetarian, just that I was.

Friday, May 18, 2007

Hits from the Palm.

if you read this the day i posted it, sorry for the lack of spell checking, i must have thought i saved rather than posted it, anyway i guess reading typos never killed anyone ...

Notes from my PDA:
From a few weeks ago:
late for school today not the the usual reason, i dressed my preschooler in an outfit consisting of a polo shirt and pants set with a frog logo, and frogs all over the pants, which looks like something a four year-old would wear for a round of gold or a day boating, basically it looks preppy.
My son says, "No I want something tough." OK but we're late, I pickup up football jersey but it's too wrinkled, so I compromise, no frog pants (there's like 50 embroidered frogs all over the pants, not very tough) but he's gotta wear the shirt. He cries and talks about kids making fun of his clothes, I ask if they normally do that, he says no, but he has told me about kids making fun of his sippy cup, which is for babies, so i switched to another type of cup after a while, one of which has Dora the Explorer, which use to be unisex, but then they gave her cousin Diego his own show, and now Dora is for girls, Diego is for boys, so someone had a comment about his new cup, what are these parents doing that kids are already making fun of each other? My wife said I have to remember that most of these kids have been in daycare since they were one before going to preschool. I guess it's like they've "been in the system" for 80% of their lives and that gang up and pick on the weakest link or whatever perceived weakness someone has. I don't remember this from when I was a kid, and the neighborhood where I live now is better than the one I grew up in.
Also my wife points out that my son unlike me, and like most people, actually cares what other people think and can't just ignore those who make fun of him. Which points out my bad advice to him about these situations, "If he makes fun of your cup again, just tell him to shut up," "I can't say that daddy," "How about, I don't care what you think or no one asked you, or just tell him to shut it," "Daddy how come you always tell me things to say that I'm not allowed to say in school?"
Back to the shirts, I tell him I use to wear polo shirts with alligators and tigers and never had any problems, he says those are tough animals he wants those kinds of shirts. I tell him that his shirt has a poison frog on it, and they are tough and can kill much bigger animals if they try to eat it.

Then he keeps stalling, hoping that we won't go to school.
When we finally get to school he doesn't want to take his jacket off, I talk to one of his teacher's about it she says, "let me see, oh no one is going to make fun of that, but if they do tell me and I'll take care of them."

He did have any problems at school and he went up to the leader of the crew of "tough" kids that he hangs with and offers up the information that he has a tough poisons frog on his shirt.

From July 30, 2006

My 1 1/2 year-old's first sentence was said to his older brother when he came downstairs, "Tom tah key's on!" As in Thomas the Tank Engine is on TV.

Thursday, May 17, 2007

My almost five year-old son walks up to me this morning while I'm on the john holding what looks like a crushed chocolate Mentos or hard candy of some sort. Groggily I'm like, "What's that?" Now the fact that I just saw him take his hand out of his pants should have aided me in putting two and two together, but I had just woken up, and it didn't look like anything bad, so I put my hand out and say, "Give me that," and it felt hard like candy but at closer inspection it certainly was not.
I asked him if he remembered going to the bathroom in his pants and he said no. I checked the underpants he slept in, and the one's he had just put on and they both showed no sign of being soiled, so it was like the mystery Mentos poop fairy dropped off a gift in his tighty-whiteys.

I know I often post the grosser aspects of being a parent, but I guess it is because, though I've come to accept it, being intimate with other people's bodily functions and their resulting materials is something so different from my experiences before I was a parent, that they seem somewhat surreal to me.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Water heater pressure valve burst in our finished basement on my Birthday last Friday consuming my every action and thought for the past 5 days, soaked music studio, papers, boxes, foul smell, ruined wall to wall carpeting, etc. details when I get a life again.
Also previously postponed NYC birthday outing postponed yet again.