Monday, July 30, 2012

Nanny Sitter

Have to seriously start searching out some sort of person to pick the kids up from school and be responsible for them until I get home from my MSW placement this Fall ... not looking forward to the process or dealing with any issues the kids may have adapting to the new situation.


Last month my 10 year old did not use soap while washing his hands after going to the bathroom. I was like, dude, why aren't you using soap. He said, "Because we are out of soap." I replied use the bar soap from the sink if we are out of liquid soap. He said, "Dad I put that soap in some weird places, I am not washing my hands with that!"

disk error

My 10 year-old just had his last summer soccer tournament, in which he scored one of his best goals ever which I got on video ... except the camera or disc some how malfunctioned while the mini disc was finalizing and now I have not access to the video at all, it will not allow me to complete the finalization, nor will it show the material on it, so pissed off right now.

Sunday, July 01, 2012

10 Year-Old's - Psychology

After having some disagreement about proper disciplinary action for our children my wife emailed me the following, which she cut and pasted from somewhere online:

Ten is respectful of the authority of parents and teachers. He tries to avoid guilty feelings or punishment by following the expectations and demands of the adults in his life. But, if he perceives a command or punishment as unfair, he can become extremely angry at the authority figure.
Parents often become frustrated at the ten year old's sloppiness and lack of follow-through on household chores. Chore charts may help with motivation, but it's a rare ten year old who cleans his room or performs chores on his own initiative.
The best discipline approach with a ten year old is talking and planning. Ten needs to be taught to verbalize feelings and thoughts when dealing with internal and external conflicts. When ten gets the message that it's not OK to talk about the things that bother her, she will withdraw into internal coping thoughts and fantasies. Ten doesn't have the mature internal structures for resolving difficulties in her life. She needs to talk to parents and teachers to ground her problem solving in reality.
Because Ten has developed planning skills, the most effective discipline approach focuses on firm, clear, and concrete expectations and planning for good behavior.

Ten is such a stable age - psychologically, intellectually, socially. Nearly all tens are very happy, easy going, and balanced. A ten year old knows how to enjoy the simple things in life to the fullest. Parents can learn a lesson from ten's joy in life!
The ten year old is highly attuned to his peer group and recognizes his place in it. Ten relates to parents with compliance and submission to authority. With peers, he is able to express the 'self' that parents don't always see. This is a critical step in preparation for the identify development to come. Ten needs both the authority relationships with parents and teachers and the 'self' exploring relationships with peers.
While ten year olds don't often become angry, they don't handle their angry feelings well.  With parents, Ten will stomp off to his room or cry and yell in anger at the parent. With peers and siblings, Ten can be quite explosive and even violent. She will look for ways to get even with others whom she perceives to have treated her badly.
Ten approaches concepts of God, death, and morality in a matter-of-fact manner. The ten year old is not concerned about death. Most believe in God, but see church attendance as either an accepted family ritual or a disliked chore. Ten isn't guided by his conscience as much as by what parents and teachers tell him is right or wrong. But, he wants to avoid doing wrong and has a strong concept of fairness.

Daily Routines
The ten year old has a great appetite and more food 'likes' than 'dislikes'. His table manners are still poor. He needs parents to consistently remind him of table manners so that they become a regular habit in time. Tens, both boys and girls. love to cook.
Tens are extremely careless with their clothing; most are simply dropped on the floor or a chair. The ten year old hates chores, bathing, brushing hair and teeth; and, she doesn't care if her clothes are dirty or torn. Parents are forever reminding Ten, 'Put your dirty clothes in the hamper; wash your hands before dinner; take a bath; brush your teeth," and on and on.
Ten manages his daily responsibilities and activities well (except for chores, bathing, brushing hair and teeth, and picking up his clothes!) He's focused on school, friends, extracurricular activities, and family rituals. His even temperament, intellectual stability, and good social skills take him smoothly through his many daily tasks. He is able to learn new organizing strategies and enjoys using a family calendar and following daily schedules.

Ten-year old boys have an easier time with friendships. Boys' relationships tend to be based on mutual interests rather than close, personal feelings. Ten may have a few best friends and casual relationships with other boys on a team or in clubs.
Boys are seldom interested in girls at age ten, except to tease them or scare them. Many boys claim to hate girls at this age. Some will have a 'girlfriend' but are very casual about it.
Ten year olds have good ability to sense the emotions of others and to read facial and body language. At ten, acceptance by the peer group is a critical step that seems to have a strong effect on the next level of development. Poor peer acceptance at age ten is a strong predictor of behavioral and emotional problems in adolescence.
Ten year olds do feel very close to their parents, siblings, and extended family. Both boys and girls are happy to spend time with family in activities and outings. They do have frequent squabbles with siblings, fighting especially with younger siblings. They get along better with an older sibling, but may get their feelings hurt from criticism, teasing, or exclusion by their older brother or sister.