Saturday, October 31, 2009

Neurotic Sit-com

I got an invitation to open a facebook account from a mother of one of my 2nd grader's classmates a couple of weeks back, and last night I got a reminder. Since I already have an account I ignored it initially, but the message said something about kids pictures, and I know the last couple of times I have run into them I haven't been the most friendly person, so I figured it was a little weird, but she must be making some sort of facebook school parent's group so I would confirm the friend add, however I did not want to create a new account as the email was asking, so I went to my regular account and sent a friend add from it to what I guessed was her account, the name was the same but not picture.

So at my son's Halloween parade I run into her, and trying to be polite since I never directly replied to the add request I told her I got the add request but already had an account so I sent her a add request from my regular account. She looked at me and said I never sent you an add request, I was like oh, now I feel like an asshole, so I say well maybe you responded to a pop-up that was going to send invites to everyone in your address book, she was like I guess but had a what the fuck are you talking about vibe, if the roles were reversed I would have said that's weird, well don't worry about it, but in typical fashion for my life, I was trying to not make someone feel weird and I wound up feeling uncomfortable.
I started to get all Larry David feeling about it, and wondered why, then I remembered I hardly ate anything and have not gotten enough sleep for weeks, speaking of which I am beat from hanging with Dave so I am gone.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Yesterday OK / H1N1

After implementing my new system my little guy made it through the whole day with no problems. If we can make through a week we probably will not have to go to the doctor for this issue.

speaking of doctors

I have been researching swine flu vaccines and will be getting my boys vaccinated with the nasal spray version which does not have any preservatives in it, ie no mercury.

I learned that 40% of the shots will not have thimersoal in them, so you may be able to get a mercury free shot as well.

Check the CDC web site and compare it to the conspiracy theories and then find your own truth in the middle I guess. I just know that my boys vaccinations come in individual doses, so no need for the harmful preservatives that are said to cause Autism amongst other things.

gansta lean

I recently realized that a lot of my back problems comes from the way I drive, or more to the point the way I position myself as I drive. I reach my left hand over to the other side of the steering wheel and place it at "2 o'clock," I lean my head over my right shoulder and I always hold the shifter, obviously with the right hand, even though I currently drive a manual car, I drove a stick shift for like my first 15 years of driving.
Now that the weather is getting colder my upper back keeps stiffening up, even later in the day after going to the chiropractor. A few days ago as I was driving my boys to school and fidgeting around in my seat trying to get my upper back comfortable I realized that the position the rest of my body felt comfortable in tilted my spine at the exact point of the problem, like a hinge in the center of my back.
I also wonder if I have looked ridiculous all these years driving like I am rocking some kind of gansta lean behind the wheel of my Camry?
So now I am trying to reposition myself as I drive, which relieves the pressure between my shoulder blades, but now the rest of feels totally out of sorts. I even do this on the computer, sitting slightly to the left of the keyboard and leaning my upper torso to the right to type and hold the mouse.
So this morning I stretched a little, sat on the couch with strategically placed pillows, DVR'ed a Halloween show for the kids and tried to relax the muscles in my back. after about 15 to 20 minutes I was feeling close to normal, close enough to do another round of more serious stretches. That did the trick, 90% back to normal.
About an hour later my wife called from a meeting to whisper to me that the lay-offs they have been fearing are going to happen and definitely will affect her small department.
Wow honey that sounds great, thanks for telling me.
- Well I wanted to talk to someone, you are my support (system or network or something like that)
Well, hang in there.

Ooouuuuuwuch, I can hear the muscles between my shoulder blades tightening up and the little crackle of my spine in one of the only spots I can not crack on my own without the help of one of those seat connected to the desk school desks they have in high school.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Accidents Happen, just usually not this frequently

My 4 year-old has had like 12 accidents in the last 10 days, most of them very small and on the way to the toilet, but after not having any for a really long time and then having like one a week for a month things have gotten really out of hand.
I have tried to use the tactic that I helped my older son get potty trained that I learned from a child psychiatrist, telling him that I read the manual to the PS2 and it said that only big boys can play it. And big boys listen to their parents, go to the bathroom on the potty/toilet, go to school, etc.
"... and you do all of those things except (in this current case) you have not been making it to the toilet on time and peeing a little in you undies before you get to the toilet."

I know many children have a period of adjustment once they get pretty good at controlling their bladders, they try to hold it in until they are finished playing a game or watching a show and wait way too long a bam, or pssssss to be more correct, accident time.

I know I get too mad sometimes when I ask him if he needs to go and he says no, then a minute later he's screaming he has to go and running around in circles rather than heading straight to the toilet. I am starting to be afraid that it is something physically wrong. I am going to try to be way more supportive, back-tracking and acting as if he was not fully potty trained and helping him out a lot more, running up or down stairs with him, helping unbutton his pants, keeping the potty seat on the toilet so he does not have to waste time looking around for it, making sure he goes to the bathroom before and after everything we do and everywhere we go, and rewarding him with praise and maybe a jelly bean all the things that worked to get him potty trained a year a head of his older brother, while sticking to the no PS2 / big boy's always go on the potty stance.

I will probably take him to the doctor too, even though my gut tells me it is not a physical issue and I do not want to loose the 90 minutes of my life that I will spend waiting around to be seen by the doctor that comes with making a last minute appointment. I do not want to risk continuing or exacerbating the problem because of laziness or selfishness, so if he can not make it through another day without an accident I will have to make an appointment.

My son is usually brimming with confidence and over confidence so it sucks hearing him say, "I'll never be a big boy / I hate myself / No one likes me," after having an accident. I am sure I have fucked this up a bit, it his hard to convey disappointment and compassion at the same time, that I am disappointed that he did not do what he needed to do to make it to the toilet like he has been doing for a year now, not that I am disappoint in him as person or a son. I try to let him know that I still love him and like him even if I am upset.

Getting tired, I will proofread this tomorrow.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Saturday, October 10, 2009

I have attained the highest level of suburban parenthood, little kid soccer coach

Coached my first kids' soccer game today, my side won 5-0 and my 7 yr-old had a hat trick, so it went pretty well. They need me to fill-in coach the next two weeks, I wonder if the fact that the games are 9 & 10 AM plays any part in that?

The kids were all well behaved except for one, who tripped my son at the last practice and then was all happy about it. He grabbed the shirt of the female head coach and pulled it up, she was like, "yes" assuming that he wanted her attention, and boy did he, "You were naked," "WHAT," he does it again, "I want to see you naked, I want to see you naked!" "That is inappropriate behavior."
This kid also doesn't pay attention at all to the game and kept kicking the ball in the wrong direction.
WOW, I guess I am doing a decent job with my boys, seeing how they have yet to try to rip the clothes off of a woman. I am going to advise her to have a talk with his parents.

In a much nicer realm of not paying attention, it was windy and a bunch of leaves started to fall down on the field, one of our defenders was just looking up at the sky gleefully strolling away from the action watching the leaves fall, "HEY 'Alex' watch the ball not the leaves!"

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Never Assume

This morning getting ready for school my 7 yr-old was brushing his teeth and my 4 yr-old was on the toilet, exciting right. Anyway usually this leads to a fight, because the kid using the toilet will finish and want to wash his hands, and the one brushing his teeth will not step aside for a second, or god forbid share the sink, so they then argue and jostle with each other for space at the sink, then the little one will fall of the step stool and yell Daddy he's not letting me blah blah blah.
So today we were not running late, shocking I know, I was busy doing something related to getting them off to school and the little guy was siting on the toilet I assumed he was just patiently waiting for his brother to finish at the sink and I thought great, no noise no drama.
As his brother finishes he is still sitting there, I am like,
Go ahead and wash your hands little dude.
him-I can't
Why not? Wait did you poop?
Did you wipe?
Why not?
him - shoulder shrug
Ah man you just didn't feel like wiping, scoot up so I can wipe you so we aren't late!

No more assuming, I will continue with the constant checking, "Did you do this, no, do this then do that ... it's been ten minutes and you didn't do that, did you do this, okay now do that, and go down stairs and do the other, from earlier, come on you have forgotten the other for three days straight ... what do you mean you forgot how to do that?"
In 30 years without spanking, are Swedish children better behaved?

Monday, October 05, 2009