My 4 year-old has had like 12 accidents in the last 10 days, most of them very small and on the way to the toilet, but after not having any for a really long time and then having like one a week for a month things have gotten really out of hand.
I have tried to use the tactic that I helped my older son get potty trained that I learned from a child psychiatrist, telling him that I read the manual to the PS2 and it said that only big boys can play it. And big boys listen to their parents, go to the bathroom on the potty/toilet, go to school, etc.
"... and you do all of those things except (in this current case) you have not been making it to the toilet on time and peeing a little in you undies before you get to the toilet."
I know many children have a period of adjustment once they get pretty good at controlling their bladders, they try to hold it in until they are finished playing a game or watching a show and wait way too long a bam, or pssssss to be more correct, accident time.
I know I get too mad sometimes when I ask him if he needs to go and he says no, then a minute later he's screaming he has to go and running around in circles rather than heading straight to the toilet. I am starting to be afraid that it is something physically wrong. I am going to try to be way more supportive, back-tracking and acting as if he was not fully potty trained and helping him out a lot more, running up or down stairs with him, helping unbutton his pants, keeping the potty seat on the toilet so he does not have to waste time looking around for it, making sure he goes to the bathroom before and after everything we do and everywhere we go, and rewarding him with praise and maybe a jelly bean all the things that worked to get him potty trained a year a head of his older brother, while sticking to the no PS2 / big boy's always go on the potty stance.
I will probably take him to the doctor too, even though my gut tells me it is not a physical issue and I do not want to loose the 90 minutes of my life that I will spend waiting around to be seen by the doctor that comes with making a last minute appointment. I do not want to risk continuing or exacerbating the problem because of laziness or selfishness, so if he can not make it through another day without an accident I will have to make an appointment.
My son is usually brimming with confidence and over confidence so it sucks hearing him say, "I'll never be a big boy / I hate myself / No one likes me," after having an accident. I am sure I have fucked this up a bit, it his hard to convey disappointment and compassion at the same time, that I am disappointed that he did not do what he needed to do to make it to the toilet like he has been doing for a year now, not that I am disappoint in him as person or a son. I try to let him know that I still love him and like him even if I am upset.
Getting tired, I will proofread this tomorrow.
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2 comments:
Maybe now that he's older he just has more stuff on his mind which could make it a bit harder to think through his potty instructions. I wonder if he's excited about or pre-occupied with something in particular the last few weeks? Just a hypothesis.
I think its good you get him checked out by the doc just to be sure. I'm guessing, as JBooks mentioned, it might be something that's worrying or bothering him. I started peeing the bed one summer when I was much older than 4. I was staying with my grandparents upstate as I usually did each summer and was going through a particularly hard time with stuff going on in my life/family. I may have been as old as 10-12. It didn't happen once I went back home in Sept and school started but I know it happened because of some heavy shit I was dealing with at the time as a young kid.
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