Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Evil Baby Killing Tampons

My 3rd grader notice some of my wife's tampons on a counter, and asked my wife about them. I did not hear all of her explanation but I heard enough to know it was too much information for him to deal with.
I was laying on the floor of his bedroom and he sat on top of me put his face close to mine and asked, "Is there something you can take to kill a baby inside a mommy after you have made one?"


Me, "Mom! what exactly did you say to him. Son do not worry about that, though you are definitely not the first person to come up with that idea."

My wife, "He was asking me about what tampons are for."

He knows that his mother takes pills so she does not get pregnant. My wife explained that the tampons have nothing to do with making or killing babies. She then began to explain how the pill works and I had to cut her off realizing that to an eight year old or an extreme right to lifer the process of how they work may be considered "killing a baby," so I just chimed in that the pill keeps the mommy from making a baby.

We have told him that to make a baby you take a little piece of a mommy and little piece of a daddy, put them together inside of a mommy and it grows.

So last night he asks, "Do you make a baby if you cuddle too much and your hair gets tangled and it gets inside of the mommy?"

This morning the tampon box is still out and he says, "I hate tampons they are for killing babies." So my son thinks that tampons are for killing babies, we told him they are not, but he does not believe us. I explain that they are used only when mommies are not making babies, he does not buy it. I have to take a cup and use it as model of an upside down womb, fill it with a little water and describe a period as the water pouring out of the cup and the tampon is a sponge to keep mommies clean. Not fully buying it, I explain there is blood involved and the womb makes a bed for the new baby to grow in and if it is not needed the body throws the bedding out.

So we left it with him finally starting to turn the corner but not full convinced that tampons are not for killing babies.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

Seems like yesterday

My just turned six year-old, "February is not so fun,"
me, "Why? We have a bunch of fun things, the Super Bowl, Coach Charlie's birthday dinner at Red Robin, your kid birthday party,"
Him, "Mehhheh,"
me, "What that party is costing us around $500, I can call up right now and cancel it!" I pick up the phone,
him, "NO!"
Me, "Alright then, you have to appreciate what we do for you, I am sorry but I can't make everyday all fun all the time, I have a number of things I have to do."
Him, "Dad do you remember when I was the most important thing in your life? Seems like yesterday."
Me, "WHAT? What did you say?"
He repeats what he said
Me, "Where did you get that from?"
Him, "In Toy Story they say 'Do you remember when we were the most important things in Andy's life. Seems like yesterday.'"
Me, "Oh man that was pretty funny."

So my six year-old has figured out how to quote film dialog to bust my balls, great.

Welcome to the Spring 2011 Semester

Sometimes it feels like the only thing I hate more than work is change.

And by work I mean on a project I do not believe in and by change I mean unwanted or unplanned change.