Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Anti-Social Germs

I just noticed a very old note that I'm not sure if I blogged about or not,
In my big boy's first year at preschool, I taught him to was his hands every time he came home.
He didn't like doing this so he asked why he had to do this everyday, I told him because there are germs at school, that's why kids get sick so often, the kids bring germs to school, they all play together and then they bring new germs home, and germs are what makes a person sick.

So for a couple of weeks I notice that every time I pick him up at school he's playing by himself, I eventually ask why I don't see him with other kids and says he's afraid of their germs.

First Day Back from Non-Relaxing Vacation

On my first Monday back home after 10 days visiting family on the other side of the country, I had some weird dreams culminating in one about my 5 year-old wetting the bed on three consecutive nights.
The very few times that this has happened in real life I try not to make it a big deal, but in this dream world after not making a big deal the first time, the second night I couldn't impress on my son the importance of his not wetting the bed and by the third occurrence, after he seemed totally unbothered by his bed wetting and unreceptive to my cajolings I snapped and slapped him across the face numerous times resulting in red markings all over his face.
So soon after that dream i woke up as I usually do after having unpleasant dreams, I'm not use to the multiple time zone change yet, so it's like 4 a.m. to me and I think I better hit the shower just to fully wake up, something I don't usually do before taking my son to day camp.On the way i hear some rumbling in my boys room and go to check on them and notice that my 5 year-old's underwear look dark, oh no, I check and he wet his pants, shirt, teddy bear, and bed and pillow to a lesser extent.
My two boys sleep together (when they slept alone they would join my wife and I in bed in the middle of the night about 3 out of 4 nights, now it's down to about 1 out of 3), so I check my 2 year old and he's still asleep seems dry so I put him in my bed so he doesn't roll over into the wet sheets and so i can strip the bed.

Great now a load of pee laundry and a change of sheets is added to my first day back list of chores. I get my big boy undressed and ready to shower when my wife gives our youngest a good-bye kiss and says, "Oh, his hair smells like pee," great, by now already late for day camp, and still not fully awake I have to give both the boys showers and the time consuming and often tearful washing of the hairs.
So I wake up the 2 year-old, pull him in the shower, wash 'em both up, do big boys hair, no problem, start on the little guy and the tears start flowing, my wife pokes her head in the shower to say good-bye, which at this time isn't a good move because the boys have had all day access to mommy for about two weeks now so her first day going away to work is met with a meltdown by the already upset little guy.
Thanks, see you later honey.

I try to console the little dude, then his big brother, who is growing into a great older sibling (when the little guy woke up at 9:20 p.m. at the airport rather than surrounded by family at his aunt's house the previous night he totally lost it, and his big brother said to me, "Daddy I know why he's crying, because he woke up some where he doesn't know where his is and now he's confused," very perceptive son) anyway my 5'ver puts his hand on the 2'ers shoulder and says "It's okay buddy Mommy will be home later," to which the little guy responds by giving a two hand shove to his concerned brother, which in shower with three people is way fucking bad, I catch the big guy, yell at the little guy and rush through the rest of his hair washing without my usual concern for how much water got in his face.

By now we're super late, I whip up a breakfast and pack a lunch straight out of the shitty-parents-anonymous-processed-diet-regimen as supplied by kwik-E-mart, a grain and fruit snack bar each for breakfast, two peel-E-cheese sticks, spiderman real faux fruit candy drops, and a pack of airline pretzels for my big guys lunch.

I get my 5'ver to camp late, drive home, feel my back is tight, pull right back out of the driveway and drive to my chiropractor, who I didn't have time to go to right before I left two weeks ago, and he is of course is on vacation, as is his back-up back cracker his wife.