plucked from an email to a new dad friend of mine:

"a couple of days ago, after a long assed day, & weekend for that matter, of family obligations (pre school graduation fri, pre-k classmates b-day party sat, a 50 wedding anniversary party sunday), everyone's asleep and i finally get to hang out a little, put the headphones on and chill on the couch then about 15 mins later, from upstairs i hear some gagging gurgling and moaning, i run up stairs and my 2 year old had puked up huge chunks all over his bed, which he shares with his big brother, nothing like bathing and washing the puke filled curly hair of an upset toddler at midnight, plus some got on his brother who luckily stayed asleep as the wife wiped him off. then after all that i'm rewarded by the toddler wanting to cuddle his mother back to sleep so i get to clean up the two pints of puke that cover his pillow and sheets.

hey feel free to hit me up with any questions, i've even read a couple of books, some good, some too wimpy and one from a right wing christian coalition that my mom gave me, she didn't realize that it promoted beatings, it was good to see some other points of view even though i didn't agree with everything it had to say, or even most of it, though the instilling accountability in your kids aspect i liked, i'm actually am a fan of rules and structure for kids, i figure with the parents my kids have there's a pretty good chance that they are going to turn out to be freaks/counter culture/ alternative/ whatever is the appropriate term for people who don't just accept the crap society feeds to them and blogs to the beat of their own drummer, anyway i've known plenty of freaks, some who have self discipline can make a niche for themselves in the world and be successful on their own terms, other freaks, even those with a lot of talent who don't have the ability to structure their lives, career plans, relationships or whatever, often wind up free floating and sometimes much worse. "

so to recap, no beatings, but no taking bullshit either, remember for better or worse you're the adult in the parent child relationship, don't get caught up trying to be their best friends, your job is to act in their best interest to help raise responsible, high functioning adults, not cater to whatever will make them be quiet, or whatever makes things easier for you in the short run, unfortunately, the harder path is usually the one that needs to be traveled with kids, not harder as in meanness, but harder as in more time, effort and patients on the parents part.