Master of his domain

I've read about fetuses masturbating in utero, and I wouldn't be surprised if my two year old son started before he was born, it's like his hands are magnets and his penis is made of metal. Every time I change his diaper he's fondling himself. Sometimes when I'm changing his diaper and cleaning his business, he gets an erection and looks a little too happy. I've noticed that sometimes if he's freaking out and fighting me because he doesn't want his diaper changed he'll totally chill out after gaining access to himself. In the tub the other day a killer whale rubber bath toy with an open mouth was being put to use in a way I never would have dreamed, and after that now all toys with orifices are open game, as it were, is that a pun or am I just tired, all I know is that we're going to need more than one upstairs bathroom by time puberty hits.