I find my current problem is sleep, and lack there of, I seem to be able to come up with infinite reasons not to sleep, I'm angry, I'm happy, I'm bored and I need something to do, I'm having too much fun to go to sleep, I'm horny, I just had sex and didn't do the stuff I normally do at night so I have to go do them now even though it's 11:36pm, there's a bunch of good shit on TV, I keep turning through the 5 million channels and can't find a damn thing if I keep going I'm bound to find something ...
I go into this kind of haze from about 10pm to around 12:30am where reason and consequence are lost on me, what I need to do the next morning, hell what I need to do before I go to bed, bills, chores, check the doors, turn off the lights, get the recycling out, I watch more TV during this two to three hour time period than I do all day, then around 1am I snap out of it and have to figure out if I am better served by getting a semi-decent amount of sleep or by doing an hours worth of chores and crashing into bed with crusty contacts and unbrushed teeth.
It does not help that my oral hygiene routine takes about a half an hour if done properly. I often dread having to do more "work" at night after running around behind my kids all day so I brilliantly do nothing and wind up having to make up for it at 1am or have double the amount of work the next day, genius I know.
... it's like I'm addicted to staying awake, I know it comes from the way I learned to over come depression by taking one day at a time and making sure I squeeze some drops of happiness out of each day. The thing is, wishing you had more free time is not depression, but as we often do I'm using a coping mechanism that works in one arena but is inappropriate for another.
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Carlo, I had a similar thing going on with TV in recent years. I would hit the peace pipe and "waste" a few hours a night going round and round the channels not rarely stopping either because I had seen everything (a sign to slow down) or, like you, I just couldn't stop.
As I told you, my addictive/avoidance-prone self, kicked the pipe to the curb and I thought about how much time I was wasting clicking round and round the dial.
I've had a DVR all that time but I guess the clarity I gained lit a lightbulb inside my head (instead of a packed bowl).
I decided to only watch recorded shows that I really like and/or sporting events that I really want to see recorded or live.
It has made my TV experience so much more enjoyable FF'ing through ads and even more satisfying clicking the thing off when I'm done because I watched what I wanted on my time without advertising in the equation (it mostly makes me queasy).
It seems to me, since you put it out there, that lack of sleep may be an issue bothering you or something you are looking to change or at least discuss here.
One thing I thought of from reading your post is that you might try adding/substituting sleep to the list of daily activities you squeeze in every day to make you happy. That is of course if lack of sleep is indeed making you unhappy.
Peace,
Rusty
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