Friday, April 03, 2009

Party Attire

What to dress the kids in when going to a party, of course you usually want them to wear their finest gear too accentuate how damn cute they are and to express to the world what a good job you are doing in manufacturing presentable future world leaders, HOWEVER there are three things at parties that run counter to risking your children's best outfits;
1) FOOD: self serve buffets, bowls of snacks and dips, cheap disposable adult size plastic cups, colorful cakes and other messy desserts. Kids have access to all of these things without full parental supervision and the persistent cajoling party hosts and relatives long in years to try this or that.
2) PARENTAL DISTRACTION: depending on the gathering the parent will either be super busy hosting or helping the host, or doing the yak-yak dance with long lost friends and relatives, leaving your child free to double dip their cuff sleeves into the oozing fudge fountain.
3) HYPER-ACTIONS: Mix the free flowing sugar products, Mom's focus on recounting a family vacation from 1979 and we have Hyper-Actions, kids playing out door sports in their finest indoor clothes, well intentioned horse-play evolving into a back alley brawl resulting punch to the head and a retaliatory kick in the gut, and the party's crowning moment a rainbow of vomit being spewed from the little guest of honor's digestive system recapping the afternoon in wide palette of food dyes. This last example actually happened, my boy was the kicker not the vomiter, not sure which would have been worse?

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