Friday, July 08, 2011

One of the ancillary annoyances of having depression

One of the ancillary annoyances of having depression issues is the realization that the things bothering you are often not as serious as those giving difficultly to others around you and yet they feel as if they are.

As I was driving to my therapist yesterday I was in a pissy mood and then saw a young blind man being taught how to use his cane as he crossed the busy street I was driving on; a few minutes ago I was thinking about talking about my general malaise with a friend I am having dinner with tomorrow night and quickly remembered that his wife is leaving him but they don't have the money to support two separate households so they are still living together, which makes me say to myself, "What the fuck are you having trouble dealing with? Your kids wanting to play video games everyday and not cleaning up behind themselves, your wife being to tired after work to hang out, really? And your therapist, chiropractor, physical therapist and massage therapy aren't enough to help you deal with the stress of life. Be satisfied with the privileged life you enjoy and somehow convince yourself that it is enough, because it is more than most people on earth have experienced."

I have to stop letting my kids bait me into arguments, my six year-old after being given a stern talking to about all of the things he could be doing to stave off boredom was having a temper tantrum because he did not want to clean up and he wanted me to play with him, I told him that I had cleaning up of my own to do and sometimes we have to do boring things in life, part of my job was to do boring things like clean up the house.
As I climbed the stairs I heard him asking why did I chose that job if it was boring and I did not like it. Normally I would get in his face about being disrespectful, but I just kept walking. Something I am going to try to do more of after making whatever my original point is.

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