Cousins & Brothers

We went to my niece’s first birthday party last night. My brother had it at his martial arts studio, so all the kids had plenty of open space to run around. The thing that was especially notable about the evening beyond the normal, “aren’t our kids so cute,” was seeing my 2.8-year-old son running around playing with my brother’s 1-year-old daughter, and repeatedly saying, “I love my cousin SOOO much.” My brother is seven years older than I, but started having kids 20 years before I did, so growing up and even recently I never thought about our children interacting at all.
I have to say seeing them playing together was pretty amazing, seeing your children love your sibling’s kids just reminds you of how much you love your siblings growing up, of course you still love them know that you’re grow, but it’s different.

carlo, regarding household sounds, when zachery was about a month old, we discovered by accident that he would be very soothed by the sound of the kitchen sink running. in fact, that then became the only way we could get him to fall asleep (walking back and forth in front of the running sink), and has continued, almost to this day, to be our cue to him that a nap is coming.

it's basically stopped working just recently, but for the longest time, that was our little bedtime routine.

7 Steps to Protecting our Children from Sexual Abuse

Step 1: Learn the facts
Realities—not trust—should influence your decisions regarding your child.

Step 2: Minimize Opportunity
If you eliminate or reduce one-adult/one-child situations, you’ll
dramatically lower the risk of sexual abuse for your child.

Step 3: Talk about it
Children often keep abuse a secret, but barriers can be broken down by talking openly about it.

Step 4: Stay Alert
Don’t expect obvious signs when a child is being sexually abused.

Step 5: Make a Plan
Learn where to go, who to call and how to react.

Step 6: Act on Suspicions
The future well-being of a child is at stake.

Step 7: Get involved
Volunteer and financially support organizations that fight the tragedy of child sexual abuse.

... Okay that 7th step seems a little weak, but check out the darkness2light.org website to raise your awareness about how to keep your children safe from one of the most scarring crimes that can happen to a child.


A few links for new and future moms
-post partum planning guide: http://newhealthinc.org
-hypno birthing: http://ezbirths.com, I never heard of this before but it sounds like it might work to make birthing easier if you already have the ability to meditate.

The Naked Truth on Family Nudity
An expert resolves one mom and dad's disagreement about being naked in front of their kids.
Some up tight dad asks why his wife thinks it's okay to bathe with his 1 & 3 year old boys, what an idiot.

In reference to Seth's post about ambient music, household ambient sounds can work to sooth little ones as well. With my first son, as a part his daily evening passagiatta, I'd run the water in the bathroom and stop in there for a minute after each lap around the house. My new born likes finds the sound of main floor bathroom exhaust fan, I turn it on sit down on the throne and pull the hand towel over my should for him to hold, and he totally chills out.

Drone Zone on SomaFM

"Served best chilled, safe with most medications. Atmospheric textures with minimal beats."

I found that the ambient electronic music on this internet radio station has a tendency to sometimes soothe my fussy little guy.

Is grandma spoiling the kids?

When you see grandma once a month or less this isn't too bad of an issue, but when she plays a part in the upbringing of your child, it may be time for her to act more like a parent and play less of the spoiling grandparent role. I'll delve more into this issue later.

BE PREPARED

There's a veritable shitload of Daddy "How-to" books out there which exploit the daunting fears and insecurities we new fathers face. Many are unreadable pap, whilst others are good-intended, but better left as a sleeping aid then as a practical guide. This book for me was the most pleasant that I've come across, filled with all manner of practical wisdoms and advice presented in an engrossing and entertaining way. See also the companion website.

stay-at-home-dadaism's main foible

Of all the reasons that people come up with against the idea of a man staying home to do the bulk of the child rearing and the mother being the primary breadwinner, I, the proponent of stay-at-home-dadaism have discovered this family structures main foible, a second child. I can shoot down just about every anti-stay-at-home-dad theory but the fact that the woman bares the children and often physically needs to take time off from work is something that the stay-at-home-dad set-up doesn’t really account for.
Currently I’m two wake-ups away from starting a new job because my wife is taking four months off from work and we don’t have a large enough cash reserve to pay our mortgage, property taxes and other outwardly disseminations of cash.
This leaves our home in disarray, I have set up how our home runs, and now my wife has to adapt to working in the home under my old rules or set up new ones while dealing with an upset 33 month old, an ever hungry two week old and a slightly opened wound from her cesarean section.
All the parental books will tell you that the most important thing for children is consistency; it lets them know that they can depend on you. A new baby, temporary live-in mother-in-law, a cranky mommy and your primary care giver now being gone for 10 hours a day has to be a life rocking recipe for someone not yet three years old, and use to being the center of the universe to numerous people.
GUILT. "It’s my job to take care of my home. I should have planned better for this period of adjustment. We should have saved money or taken a loan so I wouldn’t have to work. A condom would have made the decision to have another child happen on a more manageable time frame. This is going to fuck up all the good parenting I’ve done over the past two years. Is my wife going to be able to handle two kids without the experience of taking care of one full-time…".I’m going to try to take a nap while son #2 sleeps.

The object of going to bed at night is what?

The object of going to bed at night is what? To get some sleep. Well entering into week two of baby number two sleep depravation is starting to deteriorate my faculties. My hands are cold and shaky, I’m not sure if that’s the lack of sleep or because it’s 2 degrees (wind chill of minus 7) and I’m next to a window.
I am starting a new job next week as a proofreader that requires me to be mentally sharp and play close attention to detail. After not working in an office for over two years, being a stay at home dad who has worked as a theater inspector approximately once a month, I am nervous about getting my faculties together in time for my new job, for getting up at 6 a.m. and commuting 45 minutes to an hour into the hills of North Jersey in the winter, and getting to bed by 10 p.m. when I normally go to sleep at 2 a.m.
My wife is asking me to take the baby so she can get some more sleep, I hate waking up all night, so I have been staying up really late so I only have to get up a few times in the middle of the night, but now 8 a.m. feels like the middle of the night so that plan isn’t working.Our first son was not big on pacifiers, and he was not big on breast-feeding either so we did not push them on him because we needed him to focus on breast-feeding. Our new baby eats all day and night so I think I am going to start using pacifiers with him because he totally looses it when ever we change his diaper, and I hope that will make for quieter 3 a.m. changings.

first

This blog is for stay at home & fully involved dads. More later.