20Gs is 20Gs

I'm pissed off, we put an offer on a house that is a block away from our townhouse, it's beyond the top of our price range and I'm not sure how our finances will work out if we get the place, as in our day to day finances.
I told our realtor to bid $X00,000 which was 19,000 under what they were asking IF there were no other bids on the house. She said that they said they were expecting two other bids, so we upped our bid by 20,000.
It turns out that no other bids came through, but she didn't double check before putting in our higher bid.
Now they haven't accepted our bid because it's contingent on selling our old place, which the sellers don't like, plus they are nervous about whether we have the money in place to pay, to the point of asking about how much money we make and asking about our credit rating.
We were approved for a loan, and we have a deposit that is well over 20%, so I don't know what the fuck they are stressing about, I wonder if it's because I'm a stay at home dad? I wonder if I was the one who was a compensation manager at a huge ass corporation rather than my wife, and if she were the one who stayed home if they would be stressing so much about whether we can pay or not?
They may just be greedy and expected their house, which is really nice, to be the object of a bidding war rather than just getting one bid, I don't know, I just know that that combined with our realtor not doing her due diligence has me in a pissy mood, plus I don't really feel like moving / selling our house during the Fall, which is my favorite season.
Our house is a disaster and will take literally weeks to get into shape for a good "showing," which means tons of work on the weekends or not getting what it's worth because it looks like shit.
I have to weight this against the house being a decent deal for the money, though since no one else bid on it, it makes me feel like a sucker for bidding 1G over asking price, though it was done on false pretenses.